Thursday, November 18, 2010
I Want To Quit
I just received the rejection from hell.
It wasn't a bad rejection, in fact it was very informative, but it was the fact that I got a rejection.
I met the agent this summer and we hit it off at Thrillerfest. We developed a great email and forum dialog, and I knew she was going to be the agent for me.
We were both raised in the midwest and seemed to have similar tastes in books. When we were talking at the conference we were both reading a very popular book that neither of us liked, and for the same reasons. I felt like I had a connection.
So when I received the rejection it was not only hard, it was the worst possible feeling for my publishing dreams.
I feel like I want to throw in the towel, move on to something else, give it up.
I want to take the four books that I have completed, and self publish them all, not for vengeance, or anything like that, but so that I will be done with them, so I don't have to think about them anymore.
I want to take the one that I'm working on and hit the delete key, not only because I'm having problems with it, but I feel like, what's the point. It will never be published anyway.
I'm pretty down about the whole process right now.
I'm not going to quit.
I like the creative process too much. I like coming up with new stories, new twists, new ways to tell them. I like putting the movie I see in my brain down on paper.
And if I examine what the agent said in more detail, it was actually quite positive. She said that I just missed the bullseye. She couldn't quite identify with the first scene and how the main character was put into that situation in first person. It was all positive feedback, feedback that I can use to make it better.
And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make it better so that the next agent can't possibly find a reason to reject it.
If you want to make it in this business you have to keep going. If you quit, you'll never make it.
Yes, I feel like quitting, yes, I'm pretty upset, but when I finally get the plot worked out for my next work and I'm writing down all the scenes that are flying around in my head, I'm going to forget all about rejections. I'll be back to doing what I like to do best, writing stories.
How about you? What's your worst rejection story?