Monday, October 12, 2009

Silly Metaphors

This week I thought I'd try something a little more fun than my regular posts. Last week, I quoted one of my favorite metaphors for someone who is not too bright. (I think his cheese slid off his cracker, from The Green Mile).

This week, I thought it would be fun this week to explore a few more that I've heard, and hear some of yours. You realize of course, that the ones you've heard the most you can't use in your writing, because they are common and cliche.

Ok, so here goes. In this first section you'll notice a theme of not having enough of something represents that the person doesn't have enough brains.

  • He's one card short of a deck
  • There's a couple of slices missing from his loaf of bread
  • Somebody didn't fill his gas tank all the way to the top
  • I think his stepladder lost a couple of steps
  • He's a few french fries short of a Happy Meal
  • I think his IQ would have to rise to reach room temperature
  • He's a walking argument for birth control
  • He's got a big hat but no cattle
  • He's as bright as Alaska in December
  • I think he's knitting with only one needle
  • I think that boy's one board short of a porch
Then, there's the theme of something not working quite right
  • I think somebody forgot to engage his transmission
  • She doesn't have both oars in the water
  • He's definitely got a couple of screws loose
  • I don't think his brightness control goes all the way up
  • His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
  • He couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel
  • His head whistles in a cross wind
  • I think his mind wandered off and forgot to come back
  • I think his Slinky has got a kink in it
  • That boy is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him
And of course my new favorite
  • That boy's two chapters short of a novel.
Do you have any favorites? Have you ever used one in your writing?


  1. I adore "He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic". Never used it, but I love it.

    One of my favorite expressions is from "Friends" for describing some one being rather thick: "Why don't you fall down more?"

    My newest (and this is actually mine) is describing someone as "The Lock Ness of stupidity". It's cruel, I know. I don't say it in public.


  2. He's half a bubble off plumb.


Join the conversation, add insight, or disagree with us! We welcome your thoughts.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.